


Anchor me

by tauhou



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst, Butties, Canon-adjacent, F/F, Goats, Hugs, Long-Distance Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-11
Updated: 2019-05-09
Packaged: 2019-11-17 15:42:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18101507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tauhou/pseuds/tauhou
Summary: Vanessa has a tough day her first week back into practicing as a vet.Updated with a more cheerful epilogue set some months in the future.And added a small bit set a couple of years in the future, just after they've finished High School.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I guess this is a little grim in places, I hope it makes up for it before the end. Also, if you don't like needles, this probably isn't for you.
> 
> The later chapters just sort of turned up, and I wanted to get them out of my head. It's not really chapters in a single work, but it feels a bit late to try to split them into a series of works, so... here they are as is.
> 
> Also, I know next to nothing about rural veterinary practice, so apologies in advance for the inevitable mistakes. Aaaand I'm hopelessly behind on the show, so I may have inadvertently gone AU in places I didn't mean to.

She takes a moment outside the back door of the pub, her hand resting on the cold metal of the door handle. It's the tail end of a grey, blustery day, and she's wrapped up warm against the weather. She doesn't want to carry this weight she has in her heart into her small family. It hurts her enough. Hot and heavy in her chest. It seems a bit daft honestly. It's not her sorrow, she barely touched it, just glanced, the right person maybe, but the wrong time.

The wind skitters some leaves around her feet as she shakes her head. It probably only got under her skin at all cause it's her third day back practicing and everything is extra sharp and vivid. If she'd had time, she would have taken the long way home to clear her head, but Charity's already had to use her break to pick the boys up from the childminder and there's dinner to get on and the rest of the evening to get through.

She takes a breath and tells herself this'll fade as soon as she gets on with looking after the boys and getting everyone fed and settled. And if it doesn't, well, it will just have to wait til after the laundry is on, the boys are in bed, and she's sorted the kitchen out.

She pushes the door open and enters into the warmth inside. The pub smells like home these days. Somehow not that different from the third or fourth time she woke up in Charity's bed. Their bed now. She briefly contemplates heading straight upstairs and hiding there until someone finds her and coaxes her out with a cup of tea.

Instead, she shrugs her way out of her yellow coat and scarf and hangs them on a peg and drops her brown satchel near the bottom of the stairs. She can hear the boys chattering in the living room. They're most likely playing their dinosaur game again. It seems to be one of those rolling, endless games which only they really understand. Still, at least it means they'll be busy. And happy.

She hitches up a smile, squares her jaw and heads into the living room.

"Hi boys", she says brightly. "Good day?" They barely look up, absorbed in action replays of their dinosaurs' acrobatic leaps off the back of the sofa, complete with a full range of dramatic roaring noises.

She doesn't want to look at Charity just yet, wants a slower transition today than usual. But she can already hear her fiancee scraping back her chair from the kitchen table.

She looks over and swallows hard. Charity is searching her face, subtly trying to gauge what's wrong. And it feels silly and pathetically soft, but Ness finds herself firmly blinking against tears as Charity closes the space between them. She reaches out for Ness, running her hands down her arms, getting between her and the boys to shield her from their curiosity.

Ness manages a wonky smile, her lips tightening against the words she wants to say. It's hopeless to try to talk just now, when it's raw and fresh, and makes no sense.

"Hey babe", Charity says quietly, pulling her into a loose hug. "Bad day, was it?"

Ness nods, bracing her hands on Charity's hips. She lets her head drop down and rest against Charity's shoulder, clenching her teeth to stop herself crying outright.

Charity's hands drift down her body, settling on her waist, and she quietly turns her head to rest against Ness's.

They stand like that as the boys' dinosaurs dive through waterfalls and battle giant squid and Vanessa listens to the flow of the game as she slowly unwinds. She focuses on the rhythmic in and out of her breath, slowing the fretful rushes of thoughts in her mind.

Eventually she twists her fingers through the belt loops of Charity's jeans, and leans in against her body, tucking her head against her neck. Charity wraps an arm around her shoulders, the other drifting up and down her back.

She's warm, and solid, and real. The weight of her arm across her shoulders anchors her here. Together.

The boys' dinosaurs move on to gobbling up the fish they have caught and she feels the worst of the heaviness ebbing slowly away. She takes a deep breath, and sighs into Charity's embrace.

Charity kisses her softly, holding her lips to the edge of her hairline for a moment. Then she nudges Ness gently, shifting her weight on her feet.

"So babe, what can I get you?" Her voice is light, but not flippant. "Is this a cup of tea bad day, or more of a glass of wine bad day?"

And to be honest she's not sure how to answer. It had been going beautifully. She'd been at the clinic for most of the day, seeing people who were basically bringing their pets in to say welcome back. She'd been touched how happy people were to see her, and she'd had her fill of puppies, elderly cats and even a parakeet which was genuinely ill with a skin infection. She'd sent the owner off with a cream which was pretty much guaranteed to clear that up if applied correctly and was just starting to muse on what to cook for dinner when they'd received an urgent call from a farm around a quarter of an hour's drive away. Their pet goat was having a difficult birth and they wanted someone to come and check on her, worried that moving her would make things worse. She'd jumped at the chance to head out.

She thinks back; she was pulling up beside a well-used Range Rover when she sees a woman coming around the corner of the farmhouse. She has dark, curly hair, a sharp face and observant grey-green eyes. Ness grabs her bag and hops out of the car.

"Hi, hello." she says, smiling hopefully.

"Ms Woodfield? Hi, I'm Rachel. I rang the surgery just before, about the goat?"

Ness nods, "Yes, that's me. Woodfield. It was the goat having trouble with a birth? I came as soon as I could."

Rachel gives her a polite, tense smile, and reaches out to shake her hand. "Thank you so much for coming out at such short notice, so late in the day."

"Oh, it's fine, really, my fiancee can handle the boys for the evening, no problem." She beams, then bites her lip, trying to tone down her excitement about being on her first call out in bloody ages.

"Ah, well. I hope this isn't too much of a disruption. I wouldn't ring except, Ruth is really quite concerned. She dotes on that goat and she's been so looking forward to the kid arriving, and..." She glances off back down towards the road. "Well, I'll let you see." She has already turned and is walking around the cars towards some modest outbuildings.

For a farmyard, it's tidy and well-maintained, with more of an effort at decorative plantings than is quite usual for most of the farms Ness visits. It'll be lovely once the warmth of the summer really starts to get things growing. She hurries after Rachel towards a small stable at the end of the outbuildings. It's hand-made but solid, and looks quite new. She has time to notice a small sign, very carefully painted, announcing that this is the home of Nan the Goat, and to Please knock.

She follows Rachel into a warm, clean and friendly space with a generous amount of straw on the floor. But she can smell the blood before she knows where it's from. There's a person, a girl, in a blue hoodie and jeans sitting on the floor next to a tan and white goat with distinctive dark markings on its face and forelegs. She doesn't look up as Ness crouches down, totally absorbed in stroking the goat. There's a small scrap near them. Ness can tell without looking at it, that it's the kid Ruth was hoping so much for, and it didn't make it.

She gets down on her knees. "Hi. Ruth." Ness says gently. "I'm Vanessa. I've come to see if I can help your goat."

Ruth drops her face a little, but otherwise doesn't respond immediately.

"It's Nan, isn't it? Her name?"

Ruth nods. She's got the same curly dark hair as her mum, but it's cut short, and frames a square face which is blotchy with emotion.

"Can you tell me what seems to be wrong? And if I can get a little closer I can see if I can help."

Ruth takes a second, and then backs off slightly. Ness gives her a moment to adjust and then moves forward to examine the goat. The goat isn't reacting much to Ness's arrival and, now that Ruth has moved back, Ness can see she's also lost a lot of blood. She busies herself taking the goat's temperature.

"She was progressing just fine." Ruth's voice is higher than Ness was expecting, and quiet. "Just like it should. Then she lay down and... And the kid came. And then this."

"The bleeding?"

Ruth nods, blinking slowly. "Yes. That."

Ness nods and listens through her stethoscope, the goat's heartbeat is steady, her lungs clear. "So, how long was she trying for, do you know?"

Ruth drags in a breath. "About 15 minutes only. I probably checked my phone about 50 times."

"So, you didn't help her with the birth at all?"

"No. Should I have?"

"Not if everything seems to be going well. Goats are usually fine. You did the right thing."

She continues her assessment, occasionally glancing at Ruth who is sitting quietly near Nan's head. Ruth must be at least mid-teens, but she looks a lot younger than that just now. She turns to look at the teenager, smiling her very best practical, warm smile. Ruth smiles back. It's not much of a smile, but it's the first Ness has seen, and her heart lifts a little. She digs around in her bag.

"Ruth? I'm going to do an internal exam now. It'll help me understand what's going on. Ok?"

Ruth gives her a queasy look, but nods and speaks softly to the goat, her words forming a muttered litany of comforting sounds.

The internal exam rules out some problems, but is otherwise inconclusive. She cleans up a bit while she considers her options, and wishes she had more of them.

"Ok. Ruth." She pauses till Ruth looks up, her eyes white in the half-light. "The best I can do for her just now is to give her a shot of something to make her more comfortable. And an antibiotic just to stop an infection from getting a hold and making things worse while she's weak. Can you help to keep her calm while I give her the shots?"

Ruth nods and settles onto the straw near the goat's head. "Hey Nan. The vet's going to give you some shots to try to help you get better. It'll probably hurt a bit, but it's the best we can do for you just now. So, hold in there ok?" Her voice cracks on the last sentence and Ness finds herself blinking more than usual to try to see the labels on the bottles clearly.

"Do you know how much she weighs?" she asks.

"40.8kg. Yesterday. 37.2kg before she got pregnant. I'm not 100% sure what she weighs just now."

Ness is relieved to hear Ruth's voice is a little stronger. The dose of painkillers is touch and go, too little and it won't do the animal any good. Too much and she risks tipping her over the edge. It doesn't help that it's unclear exactly how much she weighs, so she can't just do a straight calculation. She eventually decides to head to the low side. Nan seems calm enough. She prepares the needle and flicks Ruth a look as she prepares to inject it under the skin of her neck.

Ruth eyes the needle warily, but nods. "The painkillers?"

"Yeah. They should help her stay calm so she can rest."

"Won't hurt too much Nan." She reaches up and rubs the goat's ears softly between her fingertips. Nan closes her eyes. She twitches a little when Ness injects the needle. Ruth hushes her and then strokes down from her ears onto her neck. She avoids the injection site.

Ness disposes of the needle and prepares an antibiotic.

"I'm going to do the second shot now. Same drill as the last one ok?"

Ruth nods and takes up Nan's ears again. Ruth's hands are deft, and purposeful. Nan huffs out a soft breath.

She gives the shot as slowly as she dares and Nan kicks weakly. More weakly than Ness is entirely happy with. She pulls the needle out and holds small sterile pad over the site. "Ruth, can you hold this for a minute? Yeah, like that, just gentle pressure."

Rachel moves forward out of the doorway, her arms folded. "What's the prognosis?"

Ness screws up her mouth as she disposes of the second needle. "It's hard to tell. If I can get her to the surgery we can try to operate and stop the bleeding. But she's weak and there are risks involved in transporting her there." She turns to Ruth. "If she stays here, I'm not sure how it will go. If she stops bleeding on her own, and if she's strong enough, she'll start to recover. The antibiotics should mean she doesn't get an infection, but that's still also a possibility." She reaches out to stroke Nan's flank, she's warm and in good condition generally, she stands a chance at least. "So the question is, do you want us to try to get her to the surgery, or do you want to keep her here?"

Ruth stares at her, her eyes wide. She swallows visibly. "Um. I... What do you think we should do?"

"I think the chances of her surviving are better if we can get her to surgery. If you can keep her calm on the ride over, and she doesn't get bumped about too badly."

Ruth looks back down at the goat. One hand is resting on Nan's shoulder the other on the small square of white gauze. She starts nodding slightly. "Yeah. I think I can keep her comfortable." She shoots a look at her mum. "Can you grab us some old blankets or something?" She looks up as there's a noise from the door. "Dad!"

"Hey Ruthie," says a sturdy bloke from behind Rachel. He's got black hair and warm brown eyes, and it is obvious where Ruth gets her square jaw. His voice is gentle as he takes in the scene and recognises Ness. "Ah. Hello, Ms Woodfield isn't it? I'm Brian, Ruth's dad." His handshake is firm, and respectful, his hand roughened from working outdoors. He flicks his gaze back to Ruth, concern lining his forehead. "Not going well then?"

Ruth just shakes her head and runs a hand softly down Nan's shoulder.

Ness says softly. "She's hemorrhaged I think, we're going to try and take her into the surgery."

He takes a deep breath and looks between Ruth and Ness and sighs, the lines deepening around his eyes. He moves quietly over to sit by Ruth as Rachel arrives with a pile of blankets. "So, do you have an idea how we should get her to the car then?"

Ruth winces, but then her face settles as she starts to think. "I think maybe if we make a sling with the blankets we could... Do you think you can you carry one side if we carry her out on the blankets?"

Brian smiles, a softness in his eyes. "Yeah. I think I can do that."

"I think if we fold the blankets in half, one over the other, it should be strong enough to carry her. Ness, could you maybe take a corner as well? Just so as we've got her well supported..."

"Of course I can." She answers the concern in Ruth's face with a hopeful smile of her own.

"Sounds like a plan Ruth." Brian nods encouragingly, looking across at his daughter. "Good on you. Strong as always you." He pats her shoulder and she looks down at the floor, but there's a real smile on her face.

Ruth has just turned back to Nan, when the goat convulses. Ness's heart drops into her boots. The next two minutes are a blur, but there's nothing they can do. Nothing she can do. And she knows it the whole time. Nan eventually shakes a little and goes limp. Ness pulls out her stethoscope, and listens as carefully as she can. She's not expecting to hear a heartbeat this time though. If anything she's stalling for time, trying to work out what to say. Eventually she turns and says as gently as she can, "Ruth. I'm sorry. But I'm afraid there's nothing more we can do for her."

Ruth's face crumples, and she takes a huge breath which she holds for a long time before letting it out shakily. Her dad wraps his arm across her shoulders. And she just stares at Nan, her face going completely blank.

Ness packs away her bag quietly as they sit still near the goat, adding the barely used sterile pad to her medical waste container. She hears a car arriving up the driveway and the bang of a door opening and shutting, then footsteps crunching across the gravel. The quiet of the space is interrupted by a thin, almost gangly girl of about Ruth's age with long blonde hair and a colourful, but still somewhat practical cardigan.

"Hi Lucy", Rachel says and Brian moves away softly as Lucy grabs Ruth's hands. Ruth looks up at her as tears build in her eyes. She doesn't say anything, just looks at Nan and then back at Lucy, who leans in. They meet in a hug that seems to wrap every last bit of both of them up. Ness starts to feel a little like she's intruding, and heads outside with her bag.

Rachel is waving after a car that's heading down the driveway, presumably the one Lucy arrived in. She approaches deliberately, making sure her footsteps are loud enough that Rachel can hear her coming.

She turns back to Ness, and gives her a sad smile as they catch each other's eye. "Thanks so much for coming." She looks like she's going to say something else, but then stops herself and frowns. "Should we settle up the bill now, or do you send the invoice out once you're back at the office?"

"Oh," Ness almost gasps, shaking her head quickly. "No charge. Honestly. I didn't do anything. Or at least, nothing helpful."

Brian says quietly out of the darkening garden. "Oh, don't be daft, I know that surgery doesn't run itself, and I'd quite like you to still be in business for next time we need you. So don't make me have to come down to the surgery to settle the bill with Mrs Ladderbanks." His voice is warm, but very firm. Ness glances at Rachel, but her face backs him up.

Ness laughs shortly and then coughs on nothing. "Well then." She does some quick mental arithmetic and applies a generous discount. And rounds down. "That'll be 20 quid for the shots and consultation." She puts on her no nonsense voice and grasps her bag with both hands. "I can't take anything for the call out."

Brian narrows his eyes and Ness thinks he's about to fight her, but instead he reaches into his back pocket and pulls out an old brown leather wallet and pulls out two ten pound notes. "That better be a fair price, or I'll have words next time I see Ms Goskirk." He hands the notes over. "And thank you. Ruth would do anything for that goat."

Ness glances between Ruth's parents with a wan smile.

Rachel unfolds her arms and slips her hands in her jeans pockets. "She'll be ok with Lucy here. We'll offer them some hot chocolate at some point. She'll make it through. Thanks for being so ... careful with them. It means a lot, regardless of the outcome."

Ness nods and leaves with a hand shake to each and a lump in her throat. She drives slowly down the driveway, careful of the narrow gate at the end, consciously focusing on her breathing. Death is common enough in her job. And it had been far from one of the worst ones. But she felt wrong all through the drive home, her chest tightening as she ran through the choices she'd made. By the time she'd dropped her bag off at the surgery, finished up the paperwork and arrived home, she'd seen the blood flash before her eyes twice, and Ruth's stricken face more times than she could count.

"Babe?"

She realises she has zoned out as Charity's voice interrupts her thoughts. She takes a slow breath, noticing the faint trace of Charity's conditioner and perfume, and the soft, spicy scent that is just her underneath. Then she lifts her head to look at her fiancee. She's beautiful, just standing there waiting for an answer to her question, her green eyes watchful and steady. Like they have all the time in the world, instead of five hungry people to feed and a pub to put to bed. And she knows those eyes have seen much, much worse than a beloved pet die of natural causes.

"So babe, tea or wine?" She arches an eyebrow, "I can get you both you know, if you like. But then I have to get some dinner on if we're going to get these bundles of joy fed and bathed before demon o'clock." She nods her head at the boys, then her face grows serious as she notices Ness hasn't really followed the joke. "If it's worse than a glass of wine..."

She reaches up and kisses Charity, holding them still for just a moment, her palm resting on Charity's cheek, enjoying the warmth of her lips, the subtle heat in her response. And her feelings start to settle back, closer to their usual places. "I'm ok, alright? I just had a bit of a bad call out last thing."

"Oh. Right." Charity takes Ness's hands, swinging them gently, then looks down, nodding to herself, her bottom lip caught between her teeth. "Do you want to call Rhona or summat? Do the vet thing?"

"I'll do that in the morning." She breathes in through her nose. "It wouldn't do any good to go over the gory details tonight anyroad. It's not like I could have done anything different than I did. Not really."

"I'm sure you did everything you could." Charity says, frowning.

Ness compresses her lips. It's not really something that's worth trying to justify. How there was almost certainly _something_ she could have done. If she'd thought of it soon enough, or pushed them to bring Nan straight down to the surgery instead of her getting all excited about dashing around the countryside. "Like I said. I'll talk that over with the others tomorrow. I just..." She shrugs, her smile upside down, "I want to be here tonight."

"You sure babe?" Charity runs her hands up Ness's arms, settling them on her shoulders. "It's no trouble, I can do the meatballs and pasta thing the boys like. Might even sneak in a few vegetables, just to mess with their heads."

"Ah it's fine. I can sort dinner. I need something constructive to do." She contemplates for a moment, threading her hands together behind Charity's neck, welcoming the light weight of her hands dropping to rest on her hips, gently bringing them closer together. "Even if it's just fish fingers and mashed potato. Oh, or Macaroni cheese maybe. Can't remember the last time I made a good mac n cheese."

Charity's eyes widen. "Oh, is that an answer to my question? Cause I understand Italian food goes better with wine."

"Well. Now you come to mention it. I might be up for a cheeky red, if there's one going." She trails her eyes from Charity's lips down to the deep v at the neck of her blouse and Charity's smile grows into a full-on smirk.

"I'll hold you to that later." Charity says in an undertone that has Ness's full attention. "Get those talented hands put to good use."

And she knows she should be feeling good after the compliment, and she is, kind of, but she can't help her thoughts drifting back to Nan's stall, the gentle way Ruth handled her, her hands careful and purposeful. Her mind strays again, groping around to try to find the thing she should have done differently. The thing which would have seen Nan safe, and Ruth happy. And her parents. Lucy too, most likely.

When she drags her mind back to the room she sees Charity has that shadow she gets around her eyes when she knows something's wrong but doesn't know what. Ness wants to push this stupid feeling to one side, cheer up, and move on and wait for it to fade in its own time. But she owes Charity an explanation.

"It's not ... you. Ok? I just.." she bites her lip, pushing back at the hot, grey feeling that's threatening to return to her chest. "I just. Sometimes you can't help them. You know? Sometimes it doesn't matter what talents or care or practice revision you do. You just can't help." She swallows thickly, trying to keep her voice and her lip steady, and mostly succeeding.

Charity's expression is unhelpfully lingering between amused and concerned.

"Listen. It's silly ok? It were only a teenage girl and her pet goat. I know. Me and goats. But she were just so ... sad." She drops her eyes to the hollow between Charity's collar bones, not quite trusting herself to hold her nerve against the emotion in those green eyes. She's been lost in them more than once before now. "Bet you think I'm daft. And soft."

Charity cocks her head, catching Ness's eye with the speed of the movement. "Not a bit of it babe." Her eyes flick between Ness's, intense and unusually green. "You're plenty tough enough. A bit too bloody tough sometimes if you ask me, being half the size of nothing an all." She raises her eyebrows to try to stall the glower that is building on Ness's face. "Not that that's a bad thing. If you were any bigger you'd be down right terrifying at times." She drops her eyes briefly before saying quietly, "Sometimes you're pretty scary at the size you are."

Ness rolls her eyes and sighs through her nose. "Give o'er. I'm nothing like terrifying."

"Stroppy too." Charity replies. Then pauses to take a breath. "Ok. Maybe it's not toughness quite, but it must be something like, cause there's not many who could foot it with me for as long as you have. I should know." She reaches up to push a stray bit of Vanessa's fringe out of the way, a thoughtful smile starting to warm her eyes. "An it's not just toughness that does that. That big heart of yours. It's part of it too," she curls her hand around Ness's jaw, dropping her voice. "So don't ever change it, yeah? Or think for a second that I think less of you for it." Ness finds herself gazing up at Charity as she speaks. Despite her best efforts she's drifting in those eyes again. "I don't know where I'd be without it, honestly I don't. Probably scraping through the dregs of Tinder or off on some mad scheme. Trying to make some part of my life work. Instead of here with you."

Ness laughs, and manages a wry smile. "Lucky you eh?"

"Yeah. Lucky me. Bloody lucky." She fixes Ness's eye with her own. "Ness, whatever happened out there tonight, I know you'd have done the best you could. Cause that's who you are. You don't know any other way."

Ness closes her eyes, but her exasperation is half-hearted at best.

"And if," Charity shrugs, "it didn't turn out right. Well, it's still what happened babe. There's no way to make it better by banging on at yourself about it." She brings their foreheads together, a cheeky look sliding onto her face as Ness opens her eyes. "Making me dinner and warming up the bed, on the other hand." She nudges Ness's hips with her own.

Ness shakes her head as she bites her lips. "Always with your mind in the gutter, you. It's ok," she interrupts Charity's reply before it can gather steam, and reaches up smooth the collar of Charity's blouse. "Dinner and a warm bed sounds pretty amazing to me actually."

Charity watches her carefully, but she holds her gaze steadily, resting her hand on Charity's chest, so she says. "Well, I'm going to go get us that red we were talking about, and pour you a glass. And then I'm going to head out into the bar and tell everyone to get the hell out of my pub so I can come back here to spend the evening with my future wife."

Ness's smile has a good deal of smirk in it now as the implausible lightness her heart gains around Charity mixes with the heaviness of the day, lifting it little by little. "Oh, don't be daft. Chas'll kill you if you skive off another shift, let alone clear the bar." She reaches up again to kiss her fiancee quickly. There's a part of her that would dearly love to take Charity upstairs now and forget completely about the day, losing themselves in the warmth of each others' skin, but the boys have settled in under the kitchen table, trying to work out where the kitchen in the dinosaur house is, and she knows she's got a life to lead down here first. So instead, she tugs gently on the lapels of Charity's jacket and says, "Go get the wine Charity. I'll get the dinner on."

Charity grins at her, then runs her thumb softly down the side of her face beside her eye, which probably still looks dodgy from nearly crying earlier. "I look forward to experiencing the results of your culinary endeavours, babe. Maybe they'll even convince the dinoboys here to sit at the table rather than under it," she adds softly and heads off towards the pub. She pauses by the door and holds Ness's eye for a moment.

"I'm fine Charity. Just finish your shift and come back to me yeah?"

Charity nods and the faintest hint of a sultry smile plays across her lips. "I'll do my best. See you as soon as I can."

Ness nods, a smirk turning up the corners of her mouth. "I'll bring a plate out to you in a bit."

"Sounds good babe." She taps her fingers briefly on the doorframe. "And Ness. Whatever happened out there tonight. I think what you do is amazing, right? You're flimming amazing." And with that she turns and heads off into the pub.

"So are you," Ness says under her breath as she drags her eyes away from the door and turns, shaking her head to herself, to contemplate the contents of the kitchen cupboards. "So are you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some days you just need a _really_ big hug.
> 
> This is named after a song that's really famous in NZ, but probably not very much elsewhere, which is a pity, because it's lovely in its own weird way.


	2. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, I found myself wondering what happened to Ruth and Lucy, and not really wanting to leave them with their grief, so this is my attempt to give them a bit more of a future with something to look forward to. I also got to take Charity, Ness and the youngest boys to a market/fair, so there's something more in the vanity vein as well.
> 
> Hopefully this chapter is a bit more cheerful in general, it's definitely a change of tone from the previous one, but it didn't feel like an entirely separate work, so here it is as an epilogue.
> 
> It also has no plot. It's just part of a day a some months into the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note, this refers briefly to Bail's trial, and its impact on Charity - in case that's something you want to avoid.
> 
> I'm a bit short on Yorkshire fact checking, so apologies to any locals if any of this is off.

"Charity!"

Her fiancee is standing in between two sheep pens scowling as she scans the crowd. Moz is yanking on her hand, jumping up and down trying to get her attention. Despite it all, she looks stunning, sticking out against the sensible coats and cardies of the market crowd with a tailored jacket, her hair curling loosely down over her shoulders.

"Charity, I'm over here!" Ness starts winding her way through a throng of rotund farmers who are dawdling past her vet's station. She wishes they would get a shift on. She's been waiting for her family for at least an hour, trying to keep busy making small talk with folk who are unlikely to make the hour's drive over to Emmerdale for their veterinary services no matter how nice she is about their enthusiasm for leaving the Common Market. She'd almost started to get short-tempered, which would have ruined what had been a good morning.

Once she'd dragged herself away from Charity and their bed and were on the road, she'd enjoyed the crisp air and early morning light, even if Paddy were grouchy and tired. The rest of the day had been spent talking to a bunch of lovely people and looking over what were, on the whole, very healthy and well-cared for animals. Mostly sheep, of course, but someone had brought in a small herd of Angora goats, who had all but broken her heart with how soft and cute they were. It were only the last bit, when she'd wanted to get away from the smarmy young farmer who wanted free advice on increasing stocking rates on his dairy farm that she'd regretted coming without a car of her own. She knew it was sensible for Charity and Chas to bring her car up at the end of the day so Charity could take them home and Chas and Paddy could head off on their mini-break, but she just wished they'd been able to arrive on time.

She pops out of the group at speed, closer to her fiancee than she expected. Her scowl is still in place, but a light sparks in her eye when she sees her that makes Ness grin stupidly. She's distracted enough that she's nearly tipped into a nearby sheep pen when the boys throw themselves at her legs in an enthusiastic hug. They may still be nursery-aged, but they're weighty when they work together.

"Hello boys", she bends down catching Johnny and then Moz's eye. "Good morning?"

They nod, Johnny saying "Yes Mum."

"Sorry we're late love", Chas says with a grimace. "We were a bit late leaving, so Charity decided to take a short cut across country and then we got stuck in first a mob of sheep, then some road works and finally found ourselves on a road that would have taken us direct to the lake district."

She glances at Charity, who has shoved her hands in her pockets and is glaring suspiciously at the far wall of the market.

"Still, we're here now," Chas smiles.

Ness smiles back. "Yeah, you are. You know, it's quite good you were a bit delayed actually, cause a bloke came in last thing with some beautiful Angora goats." She tousles the boys heads. "They were so soft, I could hardly believe it. So no harm done, eh?" It's a lie; well, sort of. The goats had been amazing, but they'd technically turned up mid-morning.

Chas gives her a dubious look, like she wonders if Ness is bending the truth. A glance at Charity's expression says that she _knows_ Ness is.

"Have you seen my Paddy?" Chas says scanning the direction Ness came from.

"Yeah, he's back over that way, by the big white sign advertising electric fencing. Last I saw he was deep in conversation with a short bloke who wanted help with a furious pair of geese."

Chas winces. "Oh right, well, I'd best rescue him from that. I'm looking forward to getting into a hot bath at the B&B, I can tell you. The photos on the website looked wonderful."

"Sure, fine, bye." Charity snaps. "I'll stay here and mind the pub."

"Yes. You will. Like we agreed three weeks ago when you were tryin to make nice after skipping out on two shifts in a row."

"Yeah, well I had to help out Ryan with his new room, didn't I?"

"I hope you have a lovely time Chas." Ness says firmly, stepping towards them. "You've more than earned it."

Chas flashes Charity an over-it look, before bestowing Ness with a not unkind smile. "Mmm. Well, enjoy your time with the back room to yourselves."

"I'm sure we will. Thank you Chas." Ness replies with a wry smile.

"No problem love." Chas gives the side of Charity's head a final stare, nods goodbye to Ness and heads off towards the back of the markets.

Johnny tugs at her overalls. "Charity sang the wheels on the bus in the car."

"Did she now? Did you sing along too?" They nod energetically, starting to sing themselves. She glances up at Charity, who is pretending to not hear any of the conversation at all. She squats down, interrupting the boys' lusty singing, "So, do you know what I saw earlier this morning when I took my break?"

They stare at her, their eyes matching round pools of anticipation.

"Bacon butties."

Johnny's arms fly up in triumph and Moz turns to Charity, "Mum, Mum, Mum, BUTTIES!"

She straightens up. "They've got a stall down near the welly wanging and the donkey rides. Do you want to go over now?"

Moz checks her face momentarily, then decides she's enough of an authority to head out and grabs Johnny's hand, setting off into the sunshine outside. Johnny pauses just long enough for her to grab his hand and they form a little line through the meandering crowds. She's looking back over her shoulder to check that Charity is following them, and stumbles into Johnny. He's stopped close behind Moz, who is turning to look up at her. "Where're the butties?" He asks, finally having realised he doesn't actually know where he's going.

"See that red and white caravan over there?" She points to the far end of the line of stalls.

Moz weaves his head trying to see where she's pointing through the crowd, and then she has to duck as Johnny points excitedly in the right direction. "Over there!" he yells, grabs Moz's hand and heads off, bustling along with a dubious-looking Moz trailing after. She waits a second or two for Charity to catch her up, keeping her eyes on the boys as they run the remaining five stalls to the end of the line. She'd never have let Johnny run off like that normally, but she trusts that the two of them will work it out somehow so long as they stay together.

"Not chasing after them?" Charity asks, sounding mildly impressed.

Ness loops her arm through Charity's, noting that she doesn't back off from her overalls, despite the danger to her nice clothes. "Don't care. I've had six straight hours of sheep and farmers and my gorgeous fiancee has finally arrived to whisk me away from my life of toil."

"Six hours, eh? You smell like it an all." But she's leaning in as they walk, not away, and the warmth in her look is unmistakable. "I'm sorry about the wait", she adds quietly. "It were that road down by the mill race, and I just thought it'd be a nicer journey if not faster. Made a mistake."

And Christ she loves Charity at moments like these. It's not a grand apology, but it's an honest one, and just for her. She smiles up at her as they walk. "It's fine, Charity. You're here now, and I'm off shift, and I have refined carbohydrates and fried meats to look forward to." She frowns, struck by a recollection. "It weren't that road with the rest stop that turned out to be ... conveniently private was it?"

Charity suppresses a warm grin very poorly. "Yeah, might have been."

"Ah." She squeezes Charity's hand. "It's a good road, that one."

"Yeah. Very good." Charity shoots her a look, and Ness thinks maybe she'll remind them both of that after the boys are in bed and the punters have gone and they have the pub to themselves.

They join the short queue at the buttie caravan. There's a big sign with "Boswell's Butties" on it and a list of choices hanging above a pink-looking man in a white apron, and a woman with dark frizzy hair who has her attention fixed firmly on a hot plate down one end.

Ness scans the sign. They do bacon, lamb, pork sausage and mushroom butties and you can choose to put mint sauce, tomato sauce, chilli jam or either of two different sorts of mustard on too. You can add fried onion, slices of tomato, or local pickle if you want to get fancy. She purses her lips, trying to work out what combination she might like.

Charity leans in, her arm sliding along her shoulders, pulling her closer. She's grinning. "Looks right gourmet, babe. Might have to have a word to Marion about this." She hums briefly. "I'll take the lamb, I think."

Ness squints at the board, enjoying the comforting weight of Charity's arm across her shoulders, leaning into the embrace. "Mmm. I think I'll have the sausage and the hot mustard."

"Yeah, well, heating things up is hardly a problem around you is it?" Charity nudges the edge of her ear with her nose. And, it's so intimate, so irrepressible, and so very intensely Charity, that she'd dearly love to pull Charity into a quiet spot and show her how she makes her feel. But there's the small matter of public indecency laws and practice's reputation to uphold, so instead she catches Charity's hand and kisses the back of her knuckles, holding them against her mouth long enough to attract Charity's attention. She fixes Charity with what she hopes is a meaningful look, and based on the slow smile she gets back she thinks she's got her message across.

They make it to the front of the queue and order the butties and pay. The man behind the counter smiles at them sweetly as he hands them their change. Then they make their way towards the wellies and pick out a spot near the fence and start in on the food. The boys have half-sized ones, which they seem to be able to manage with minimal mess.

It's a stunning day, the town having put massive effort into sprucing itself up for the annual sheep market come food fair. The sun is high, but there is just enough wind to keep the air fresh and the leaves on the distant trees flickering from time to time. She finishes the last of her food and sighs, satisfied.

She's collecting the rubbish when she glances up and sees Charity, looking effortlessly relaxed and aloof as usual, but scanning the crowd watchfully again, like she's waiting to see someone she recognises, or someone who recognises her. She's got her head up, proud, but Ness knows her well enough now to see she's bracing against what she might see in the faces turned towards her. She's often like this. When they're out, when they're not wrapped up in each other at least, Charity's got an eye out for trouble. Ness wishes she could say Charity's oversensitive, but she doesn't think that's it. She's seen the odd person staring a little too long from time to time when Charity has had her back turned. It's faded a bit as the trial has receded from people's minds, but it's not a type of stare you ever forget once you've seen it. Like they know Charity, they have a piece of her, when in reality they have no idea who she is and would be better to bloody well leave her alone.

Charity leans against the fence. "So, how did it go? The vetting?"

She looks down, suddenly aware of her distinctive vet's green overalls. The first time she'd put them on and headed out to a farm, she'd been bursting with pride. Turned out they were well-christened by the end of a day of sorting out hoof rot, but she'd still taken a moment before she put them in the wash. She kicks one mucky welly with the other to knock off a bit of mud and straw which probably shouldn't get near the car.

"Oh you know. Endless sheep's bums and gums." she says airily. "Actually it were a really good day. Nice to get out and about and see some new people. Even if this is a bit of a one-off."

"So, no dangerous dogs? Poorly pigeons? Mardy cows?"

"Just you. And you were late." But she takes the sting out of her words with a frankly soppy smile which is returned with interest.

"You didn't actually get to see the Angoras last minute did you?"

"Ah, yeah. Well, maybe it wasn't quite the last thing I did, but they were dead gorgeous."

Charity hides a smile, shaking her head, and slips her arm around Ness's waist. "You and those bloody goats." The she turns to bury her nose in Ness's hair. "Love you."

She catches at her fiancee's hand, pulling it closer around her. Still not quite trusting herself to speak on the rare occasions Charity says it. Even if she says it more often these days.

Charity smooches the side of her head, and then pulls away. "Bloody hell! Did you see the arm on that one?" They all watch as a wellie lofts elegantly through the blue sky, sailing most of the way to the far fence. They join the cheering and clapping, the boys jumping erratically and banging on the lower rung of the fence.

"You maybe better hide your boots when the boys get home, babe. I think Johnny is eyeing up a career in footware flinging."

"Honourable tradition that." She scrapes one toe across the other. "Would have to give them a bit of a clean up before practice of course."

"Wot? You gonna take them down the park with a boot each?" Charity barks out a laugh.

"Well, why not? It'd tire them out, and, wouldn't be a bad thing if they could throw them that far would it? Bring a bit of sporting pride to the village."

Charity ponders the gathering up by the throwing mark, and shrugs. "Guess not. That bloke who threw the last one had decent arms at least." She shoots Ness a look and gets an eye roll in return.

"Uh, excuse me, Ms Woodfield?"

She recognises but can't place the owner of the voice from behind them, so she turns, a little confused until she remembers. It's Ruth. She's dressed up, by the look of it, in a smart pair of skinny jeans, and a blue cotton jersey over a blue and white check shirt. Her hair is unruly curls on top, but it's neat and trim on the back and sides. It looks good she decides.

"Oh, Hi. Ruth?" She holds out her hand to shake. "And please, Vanessa's fine."

Ruth's handshake is a sketchy copy of her dad's, and while her warm smile clearly owes something to him too, it's clear and her own. "Ah, ok," she nods, "Thanks. Um, this is ... uh", she motions to the girl who is coming up behind her, "Lucy".

Lucy has a straight, severe fringe and is dressed in a colourful cardigan and a patterned sundress. Her eyes are serious, blue, and her handshake is formal. "Nice to meet you." she says, looking curiously at Ness and her family.

"Nice to meet you too." She can't help thinking of the last time they met. She didn't really get a chance to meet Lucy, being wrapped up in Ruth as she was. They seem like they should be an odd pair, but there's an easy familiarity between them which Ness hasn't seen often. It's intriguing.

Ruth glances at Charity and the boys, reminding her of her social obligations.

"Ah, and this here is Charity." She rests her hand on Charity's shoulder. "My fiancee." Charity is watching the three of them with interest, her hand already out.

"Lovely to meet you both." She gives them one of her rare gentle smiles, as she shakes each hand in turn. She can be very polite when she wants to be. Quite civilised even.

"And these are our boys, Johnny and Moses", Ness adds, turning to look at them. All they can see is the backs of their heads, they're quietly talking to each other, absorbed in the flying wellies. She turns back to the girls, who have matching smiles on their faces, their eyes bouncing around between the members of the family.

"Congratulations." Lucy says. "On the engagement." She tips her head a little, smiling to herself. "You make a lovey family."

"You should see the rest of them." Charity laughs. "This one's alright though. Still a bit stunned she said yes to be honest. But you gotta ask, don't you. Sometimes they say yes."

She gives Charity a _look_ , and gets a smirk in return. "So", Ness interrupts the silence that's fallen on the four of them. "What brings you over this way? It's a fair distance from Emmerdale."

"Oh, we're just on a day out." Ruth replies. "Mum's doing a final edit on a paper and wanted us all out the house so she could think. I said it were such a nice day we could just walk down the brook to see if we could spot any water voles, but Dad remembered that this was on, and asked if we wanted to go."

"It were the buttie stall that convinced me." Lucy chips in. "I had one of their sausage ones at the last market we went to, so good."

"Might have been what convinced Dad an all."

"He were so sweet about driving us over." Lucy adds, then leans forward a little. "Though we were hoping there might be a few more goats about. I mean, I know it's billed as a sheep market, but sometimes that includes at least a few goats these days."

"Oh! Did you see the Angoras?" Ness asks, her hands flying up to her cheeks.

"We did! omg. They were gorgeous. All those ringlety curls. I were surprised they could see anything." Lucy gushes, delighted. Then she pauses, considering. "Though, not friendly At All. Not like our Annie."

Ness drops her hands and looks quickly at Ruth.

"Oh, uh. That's why I came over." Ruth says dipping her head. "I wanted to say, that, I bought a new goat. That's Annie."

"Oh, wow. I mean, that's great news." Ness looks between them. "It's a really lovely name too."

"Thanks. Lucy came up with it. The name. It really suits her I think. She's not a specific breed though. We were thinking about maybe getting another English, like... Nan, or there was a magnificent Golden Guernsey, but in the end we just went with the one who seemed to like us." Ruth tips her head off to the side momentarily. "So, she's just a British, nothing fancy."

"Ugh 'fancy''s overrated." Ness shrugs. "I bet she's absolutely lovely. Where did you get her?"

"Dad took us to a sheep market up near Ripon last month. And there were a bloke selling a small herd of odds and sods as he called them, and we were up near the pen, having a bit of a look at them and Annie came over to see who we were. She went straight up to Luce and sniffed her hand."

Lucy grins at Ruth, biting her lower lip. "She's black and brown and white, and has the most lovely soft ears."

Ness laughs. "She sounds like such a sweetheart. I hope I get to meet her soon."

"Well, we're just getting her used to our place, and being handled and everything, at the moment." Ruth takes a breath, shifting her weight on her feet. "Make sure she's feeling safe and ok an all." She grips her thumb with her other hand, looking thoughtful.

"Well, if you want any help with that, or, anything at all really, you just give me a ring, yeah?" Ruth's eyes flick up and away towards Lucy, frowning slightly. "You know, I can drop by on my way home from checking on Mike's dogs, so there'd be no charge, just an opportunity for some advice maybe?"

Ruth looks up, her shoulders lifting. "Oh, that would be... Thank you."

"Oh it's no bother. Honestly. I could come by in a couple of weeks, if that would be ok?" Ness suggests. "See how she's settling in?"

"Yeah." Ruth nods. "That would be..." she turns to Lucy, who smiles softly back at her. "Great." they say in unison.

"Well, brilliant. At uni, everyone else was into cats or dogs or horses or somesuch, but I always thought goats were underrated. Lovely creatures, even if they appear ornery at times, it's often just a matter of getting to know them and treating them right."

"I know." Ruth frowns earnestly. "I don't get it. I think they're amazing. They're smart and strong and they stick up for themselves. Always let you know where you stand with them."

There's a massive shout from the crowd, and Moz and Johnny start yelling and jumping and tugging on Charity's sleeves to get her to pay attention to the aerial wellies.

Ruth smiles at the kids and sticks her hands in her pockets. "We, uh, we should get going. Not take up any more of your time." She smiles wryly at Lucy. "Dad'll be waiting for us at the gate by now I imagine."

"Oh, it's fine, honestly, anytime. I love chatting about goats. Just ask Charity." She nods at her fiancee who audibly huffs in exasperation. "But, best not keep him waiting too long if he's expecting you."

"Yeah. Right. Best not." Ruth pulls her hands out of her pockets, swinging her arms. "Well, goodbye. And, thanks again for offering to come round."

"No trouble, no trouble at all. Just give me a ring when you're ready yeah? My cellphone number is on the website."

"Thanks. Bye." The girls say together.

"Bye." Ness says, seeing Charity's hand waving out the corner of her eye.

The girls wave back and dash off into the crowds, lost from view within a few seconds. Charity continues to look after them thoughtfully.

"Did you just offer to provide further free veterinary services to another potential customer?" Charity's forehead crinkles incredulously.

"Oh, don't. I just saw the look on her face, and it reminded me of that night, and I'm sure the goat will be no bother, and ... I don't know. I just want to check up on those two and make sure they're alright."

"Great, free veterinary services _and_ counseling."

Ness decides to ignore the jab and turns back to start watching the wellies again. The current throw is too high to get far down the field, but it's cartwheeling slowing through the air majestically anyway.

Charity turns back, resting her arms on the rail beside her. "That blonde would snog her silly if she'd stay put for long enough."

"Oh Charity, don't make assumptions."

"They're not assumptions. It's obvious to anyone with eyes. And, they look like they could do with the encouragement to be honest. Might never get together otherwise." She nudges Ness's hip with her own. "Some people need a bit of encouragement you know."

Ness presses her fingertips together thoughtfully, watching the judges measuring the position of the last wellie. "Yeah. I guess they do."

Charity looks at her from under raised eyebrows for a moment before relenting. "Oh don't mind me. They're young. They'll get there in their own time, eh? Got to say though I can't remember the last time I saw two more earnest teenagers. They're not Christians are they?"

"No. I don't think so."

"That's probably a good thing."

"Why do you say that? They can be Christians." Ness says, turning to look at Charity.

"Yeah, sure they can. It's just not the best idea if they're going to get together, is it?"

"Hey, Harriet doesn't have a problem with us, does she."

Charity scrunches up her mouth dubiously. "Well, no. But Harriet's hardly a traditional priest though, is she babe?"

"Traditional or not, she was great with you about Ryan last year, and she's offered to officiate for us. So I'd call that very decent and supportive."

"Yeah, I know babe. I just, I haven't always had the best from the church yeah? Even when I really could have used it. So, ..."

Ness watches a contestant lining up for a new throw. "Well no. That's fair." She takes a breath. "I'm sorry."

Charity laughs shortly. "It's alright babe, you don't have to take on the whole church for past sins." She lifts her head, shifting her weight on her feet. "I just hope those two make it alright, that's all."

"Yeah. Me too." She takes Charity's arm. "Me too." She leans her head against Charity's shoulder. "So you don't mind if I drop by theirs on occasion. Without charging?"

Charity shakes her head. "Why would I? You'll just do it anyroad." She rocks to the side, rolling with Ness's nudge. "Good thing too. Prob'ly. Someone has to wander the countryside picking up waifs and strays, and it won't be me."

Ness looks up at Charity for a bit, doubtful about whether she really wouldn't help. "Though you'll make dinner for the boys if I need you to?"

"Well. I guess I don't have much choice do I?" Charity kisses her temple softly. "Just make sure you do it right, yeah?"

Ness smiles to herself as the boys shuffle around to get a better view of the next contestant, "Promise. Best as I can."


	3. Don't Wait Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Turns out I'm still not quite finished with this. An update for a few years in the future, just after Ruth and Lucy have finished High School.
> 
> Mentions Matty/Victoria in passing, but it doesn't seem like enough of a thing to add in the tags.

Charity taps the end of a pencil against her lower lip.

"7 across, 'Unsettled'." She sighs and rests her hip against the bar. It's a rare warm evening in early September, and the last place she wants to be is stuck inside. The pub is practically dead, it's just Jimmy who is half-asleep in a corner and two tourists who are gently bickering about how they ended up in this bit of Yorkshire and how best to get out again. She runs her finger over the ring on her left hand, catching the sparkle of the central diamond in the late light.

Business should perk up a bit once the sun sets and people start thinking about dinner. But that's an age away. As is her dinner break. She's looking forward to it though. It's not like she has _plans_ , but it is Ness's afternoon off, and Moz is down with Ross, Frank has Johnny for the night and Noah... She pushes her tongue against the inside of her teeth, her smile fading. Well, Noah is out somewhere with his new mates. Which is good. Stands to reason he doesn't want to be couped up in this small village.

She sighs. Drops the pencil and newspaper onto the bar as she hears Ness's footsteps coming through from the back room. Whatever she's reading on her new phone is making her frown in concentration. She doesn't look up as she says, "Noah still out then?"

Charity's hair bounces gently as she nods a few times. "Yep" she says, popping the p. "Just a short text to say he's not in for tea. So, that's something, right? He is actually letting us know he's going awol."

Ness looks up, catching her eye, before resting her free hand on Charity's arm. "I'm sure he's fine."

"Yeah. Bound to be. Just a young man spreading his wings and heading out into the world, right?" Charity reaches up to brush a stray lock of hair from Ness's cheek.

"Uhh. Can I have a pint please."

She flicks her head around at the voice. It's Ruth. She's so quiet that one, it's no wonder she snuck in without Charity noticing. Kid needs a bell.

"A pint? You? And have me up for serving underage." She scowls at Lucy, who has just followed Ruth up to the bar. "I don't think so."

Ruth's mouth opens and closes. "I, um. Oh, hi Ness. I'm over 18 now actually."

"She turned ages ago." Lucy settles into a spot at the bar next to Ruth, swinging a small red handbag off her shoulder. "It's me that's the young one, I only turned 18 last month." True enough, she looks somewhat thrilled to be buying a drink in a pub like a grown up. Charity wonders what it would have been like to have to wait till you were 18 to drink more than the odd beer scavenged from your folks. Frustrating, probably.

"I'm sure I'm very happy for you both." Charity nods, and then her eyes narrow. "But I think I'm going to have to ask you for some ID. Them big pubs down in Hotton might not care about a fine, but I'm not rolling in it 'ere so I don't want to take the risk." She props her fist on her hip and looks between them with her eyebrows raised, waiting.

Ruth hitches her wallet out of her jeans pocket, frowning. But Lucy pops her bag on the bar and pulls her driver's license out of a side pocket. "There you go. Birthday right there," she points Charity to the right part of her license. "Bottom left."

"I can see that." Charity huffs, turning away to avoid having to actually read the small print on the card. She can read it. It's just getting more difficult to do so without obviously having to hold it further away than she used to. She waves away Ruth's carefully placed license from the bar. "So, a half-strength shandy is it?"

"No... I, um, I asked for a pint." Ruth fumbles with her driver's license, trying to wedge it back into her wallet.

"Wot, a little, young thing like you? An entire pint? It'd be child abuse. If you didn't end up with it over the floor in the loos in half an hour."

"Charity." Ness looks up from her phone. "I'm sure Ruth'll be fine. She's a sensible kid." She frowns back down at her phone. "At least a damn sight more sensible than I was at that age."

Ruth flushes and takes extra time to settle her wallet into her pocket.

"Full strength shandy it is then." Charity grabs a pint glass and steps towards the taps.

"Oi. You're not teasing Ruth with that only-a-shandy rubbish are you?" Matty says coming through the door to the kitchen. "She does that to everyone you know. Never means it. Less profit in a shandy, in't there." He walks up beside Charity, nodding to Lucy. "Nice to see you both. Dropping in for a bite are you, or just a pint?"

"Ah, yeah," Ruth nods, tapping a beermat on the bar as Charity begrudgingly starts to pull a proper pint, "Good to see you too," she says with a smile and turns to Lucy, "We're in for both really."

"Bit of a night out," Lucy adds snapping her bag closed. "It were such a beautiful night, and, well Rachel and Brian are nice an all" she rubs her hand over Ruth's arm, "but it's good to get out a bit sometimes too."

Ruth offers a shy smile back at Lucy, who pinks up a little at the attention.

"In't that the truth," Matty says, leaning against the bar. "I love my Mum. She's been amazing these last couple of years, but there were days when I were living with her that I just needed to get out and about. It got better once I had some steady work down in Hotton, but it must be tough for you, working on the farm with your Dad an all."

"Oh, thanks," Ruth nods as Charity plonks a pint down in front of her. "It's not too bad really. Dad's a good sort, and the goats are thriving up on the hill paddocks so far. I mean, it's been a good season for them, what with the weather behaving itself an all."

"That Felicity giving you any more trouble?" Ness interrupts from the far end of the bar, pocketing her phone, and heading towards them.

"Oh no. She's settled right in with the others. Still quite the personality, but I think she'll get used to it all soon enough."

"Blimey, kid, how many goats have you got up there?" Charity makes a face, and then waves another glass around. "And, do you want a drink, Luce, or just order some food?"

"Twelve as of April." Lucy answers. "And I'll have a cider I think."

Charity looks her up and down, "Cider, eh? Fair enough, which one?" She nods her head towards the fridges behind her. "We've got quite the range, since Matty started trying to mix things up." She glances at Matty with her eyebrows raised.

"I'd recommend the Dry." Ness interrupts. "I think the Gold is nothing but sugar and fizz and all the others are from a local supplier who gets creative with adding other fruit. Interesting, but not delightful. And not," she rests her arms on the bar, "where you want to start before you head off into student bars. Congratulations on getting into Liverpool by the way. I haven't had a chance to say, but getting into the Environmental Sciences course isn't easy. You must have worked very hard for those exams."

A pink glow starts to form on Lucy's cheeks. "I had a lot of help from my study buddy." Her eyes flick to Ruth, and a grin starts building on her face. "I'm really looking forward to the course. It's the kind where you get to do lots of hands-on field work, rather than just lectures and books all the time. So it should be a great way to get into applying what we've learned to the real world. Places like the Dales, you know?" She spreads her hands out, indicating the space around them, and then folds them back down onto the bar. "Just a shame it's so far away."

"It was the Dry cider you wanted, wasn't it babe?" Charity says, with unusual clarity. She tips a glass at Lucy, who nods. "I never saw the point in uni, myself" she says, bending down to grab a bottle out of the fridge behind the bar. "Bloody expensive, and unbelievably boring. Turns you into a pompous numpty if you don't watch it." She sneaks a look at Ness, who is giving her a hard stare, undercut by a smoky smirk.

"Yeah. Well. Turns out you can sometimes get yourself a mighty fit wife, even without a degree." Ness bounces up on her toes. "You heading down south soon? Must nearly be term time."

Lucy watches Charity as she finishes pouring the cider. "Yeah. Just another couple of days." She stares at her thumb, running a fingertip cautiously over a hangnail. "Thought we'd come down 'ere while we still had a chance." Her eyes skate over to Ruth, who is tipping her glass gently to the side, watching the beer reach the lip and fall back again.

Ness nods slowly, pursing her lips. "Well, I won't say it's easy going off to uni, but Liverpool's School of Environmental Science has a good reputation and getting a good start on the career you want is really important. You'll make it work. I'm sure."

"Well," says Ruth quietly, "We figure we can catch the train every week or so to see each other. More often if business picks up."

"And, you're always welcome here. Either of you." Charity keeps her tone light, but the words are weighted. "There's always room down here at the Woolly, and Ness here is usually propping up the bar so there's someone to talk to at least."

"And if you ever want to blow off steam about living on a farm with your folks." Matty says with a broad grin. "I still do shifts from time to time."

"Oh yeah. Him. Can't seem to get rid of him either." Charity points at Matty with her thumb and smirks as he scowls back at her. "Here's some menus. Gotta warn you though, the duck's off, Marlon messed up the order with the supplier, so we're doing shepherd's pie instead. Same price."

"Though there's a two-for-one deal on it, just tonight, isn't there Charity." Ness says, leveling her wife with a steady stare.

It takes her a beat, but Charity nods, "Ah yeah. Two-for-one on the pie." She juts out her chin, looking down at the bar. "Apparently, it's actually quite good. You know. If you like potato."

"Oh I haven't had a decent shepherd's pie in ages." Lucy leans into Ruth's shoulder, nudging her cheek with her nose. "Shall we?"

Ruth leans back in. "Yeah. Let's." She looks up at Charity. "Can we take it outside, onto the tables out the front?"

Charity nods as she collects the menus. "Sure can. I'll bring it out to you when it's ready."

"Great, I'll just nip to the loo." Lucy slips the strap of her handbag over her shoulder and pecks Ruth on the lips. "See you out there?"

Ruth nods back, looking after Lucy as she heads across the pub.

"Right. Well, I'm off." Matty says, shrugging into his jacket. "Got to get home a bit before dinner tonight." He picks up a bag of shopping and starts heading for the door. "Don't often get the place to ourselves, so I'm planning a bit of a surprise for Victoria, and I don't want to be half-way through setting it up when she gets home."

"Lovely, I'm sure." Charity rolls her eyes. "See you Wednesday Matty, yeah? For your shift."

"Wednesday. Right." He waves Charity off but turns to Ruth as he gets to the door. "See you around, ok?"

Ruth waves back, grinning. "Yeah. See ya Matty. Have a good night." She turns back to the bar. "Uh, so, how much do I owe you?"

"If you're paying for both drinks and the pie, nineteen-fifty all up."

Ruth fishes around in her pockets, eventually finding a couple of notes to cover the bill.

"You know, it'll be ok. You'll see her again soon." Ness says as Charity takes the money.

"I know." Ruth grimaces. "I just feel kinda sick everytime I think about it."

"Yeah. Well that's par for the course, init." Charity opens the till and sorts the change. "I'd say it gets easier to be apart. But there's no guarantees. All I can say is, you'll get better at it and" she passes Ruth a 50p piece, "Give it time, it'll pass."

"Thanks." Ruth shrugs slowly. "There's no real way around it anyhow. It's important to her. Too important to mess up. She's wanted to do the environmental thing as long as I've known her. And I don't want to stop what I'm building up here, not when we're really starting to establish a flock that we can do something with. So." She turns her wallet over in her hands.

"Well, I think it's brave. And really sweet." Ness says. "Let us know if there's any way we can help."

Ruth doesn't say anything. Just pulls her upper lip into her mouth with her tongue and nods.

"I'll let Marlon know your order." Charity watches Ruth for a moment, then dips her head and heads off towards the kitchen.

Ruth is pocketing her wallet, when Ness takes a step closer and says quietly.

"Hey, um. I was just wondering. You know. Whether you see Noah about at all. When you're in town."

Ruth's eyes flick around the pub as she thinks.

"You know Noah, Charity's son? Tallish, blond, actually quite nice when he tries to be?"

"Oh yeah," Ruth takes a sip of beer. "Bumped into him a bit at school. Decent bloke."

"Well, if you see him about in town..."

"Oh, I don't tend to. I know Hotton's not that big, but it's not like all us kids go to the same places."

Ness laughs half-heartedly, nodding. "I know. I'm not saying you're all hanging around the same one pub or anything. But just, if you do see him. Keep an eye out yeah?"

Ruth sobers. "Yeah. Course. No trouble, is there?"

"Nah. Well, not recently. We don't think."

Ruth gives her a cautious look. "Anything in particular I should look out for?"

"No. Just. He got into a few fights earlier in the year. He wasn't badly hurt or anything, but the cops came round to talk to us about it." She taps her fingertips on the bar. "We think it's behind him now, but it's not like he tells us everything that's going on with him. Being seventeen an all." Ness tips her head, frowning. "And to be fair, that's probably a good thing. There's bound to be things we don't _want_ to know."

Ruth holds her eye for a moment or two. "I'll keep an eye out. He's a good kid." She picks up the drinks. "Thanks for the pie by the way."

"Ah, no problem. I know Charity can come across as a right pain in the bum sometimes. But she's a decent enough sort. If you persist."

Ruth shrugs. "Yeah. I figured. She couldn't have got herself someone like you if there wasn't something good going on in there." She taps her glass against the middle of her chest.

Ness laughs. "Yeah, she's ... certainly one of a kind." She looks aimlessly across the pub. "Funny sometimes, who it is that you find."

"All good?" Lucy bounces up beside Ruth.

"Yeah." Ness leans against the bar. "Just chatting."

Lucy flashes a smile at Ness, before accepting her cider from Ruth. She nods towards the door. "Shall we?"

Ruth reaches out and they head out to the late sun in the courtyard, the fingers of their free hands loosely curled together.

"They alright?" Charity comes back quietly from the kitchen.

Ness takes a breath. "I think they will be. It's a good course she's doing you know."

"Yeah, I know."

"Did you ask her?" Charity wets her lips, "You know. About Noah?"

"Yeah." Ness slips an arm around Charity's waist, her wife's arms wrapping around her shoulders in return. "She said she'd keep an eye out."

"That's good." Charity presses her lips against Vanessa's forehead. "They're alright those kids you know."

Ness squeezes her wife tighter. "Yeah. They are."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Liverpool University does in fact have a School of Environmental Sciences. Who knew?


End file.
